How I got here, part 3 - Taking time off can help, but sometimes it is not enough

Once I got convinced by my GP to be signed off, I was initially so for a couple of weeks, and those were two weeks I spent extremely anxious. I wondered how my colleagues would be managing without me, what they would all think of me (I thought they probably hated me for with lots of extra work) and of how much I dreaded going back.

Despite my low thoughts (anxiety-made, of course), I received tons of beautiful and supportive messages from many of my colleagues, as well as a “get better soon” pack. Nobody hated me for being off, they were just worried and wanted me to feel better soon and take as much time as I needed. How could I even think of quitting and leaving such colleagues?.

My GP also “forced” my workplace to reduce my hours to thirty per week as I had requested when my burnout started, or else he would continue to sign me off. I thought it was quite sad we had to get to that in order for them to take any measures to help.

So I went back, and luckily the post-lockdown summer resembled slightly more what normal life had been. That, plus the reduced hours and therapy made me feel less lonely and slightly more energetic and motivated. But nothing had really changed at work. It was the same exhausting job, the same burnout, although therapy was definitely helping me cope better with it.

During the summer months, I had been toying with the idea of trying to find work at a completely different field. Maybe I could be a software developer like my partner and best friends, they seemed to live relatively stress-free and enjoy their work, and they could work from home during a pandemic, avoiding the dangers that first-line jobs involved. So I started using some resources to learn and realised I quite enjoyed the problem solving. But I kept telling myself it would be a shame to leave what had taken me so much time and effort to achieve, and to abandon what had always been my dream, being a vet.

After summer, the new COVID wave arrived and were were stuck at home again. I managed to carry on for a while, but feeling like this pandemic was a never-ending prison made my mental health deteriorate again, which led to a second sick-leave and a “phased return to work”. But I had had enough and it was time to move on, so I handed in my resignation letter and felt an immediate relief.

If you would like to continue reading, please follow this link.